Trouble In A Skirt
by Crystalkei
Summary: Same 'verse as my others. An actiony story...Rayne, with SimonKaylee and the rest of the gang!
1. Chapter 1: Baby Haze

So, yeah, not my dinosaurs, just playing with them.

This is a start to an action-y story, but this chapter doesn't have much action. Thanks to Beta Chaz!

**Baby Haze**

Simon had no clue about River and Jayne.

Mal called it 'baby haze'. Said Simon was so caught up in the baby and not getting enough sleep that he just didn't see anything that didn't have to do with Kaylee or little Fuss.

The baby girl had a beautiful name, Meili, which no one used. By her second day on the ship she was causing a real fuss, so that's what the crew called her. Nobody remembered who called her Fuss first, but the name had stuck.

Kaylee knew about River and Jayne, but she didn't want to be the one to break it to Simon. He was stressed enough.

At three months old Fuss started sleeping through the night. That's when Simon started to come out of baby haze.

Simon walked across the catwalk on his way to the engine room to relieve Kaylee of Fuss. He stopped as he heard something.

Giggle, growl, moan.

Looking around, Simon wondered if he still needed to catch up on sleep. Surely the only people on the ship that made those noises were Kaylee and himself. It had been a while since they had enjoyed each other's company in that way. Maybe he was just imagining things. But then, he heard it again.

Giggle, growl, moan.

Heading down the stairs Simon's head was spinning looking for the source of the noise.

"Wo de ma!" Simon screeched. "What are you doing?"

Jayne had River pinned against the bulkhead, from what Simon could tell he was attacking her neck with his mouth. A picture Simon didn't _ever_ want to see, ever.

"Guess the haze cleared," Jayne whispered to River. "You couldn't tell me he was coming?"

"Distracted," River replied, smiling. "Too many dirty thoughts in your head."

"Before I hit you," Simon started. "Do you want to explain this? Why are you molesting my little sister?" He actually seemed calm. But, River knew the calm came before the storm.

River had purposely avoided this confrontation. The baby haze helped her procrastination, but the time had come to talk. She didn't want to, she knew Jayne just wanted to let Simon hit him and be done with it. But River didn't think it would be done with one punch, and she knew Jayne just wasn't that nice, to just let Simon hit him.

"She might be small," Jayne answered. "But she ain't young if that's what's botherin' ya. River's a grown woman, makin' her own choices. And, she has excellent taste in men."

Anger flowed off Simon in waves; Jayne didn't have to read minds like River to know that. Jayne squared himself, ready for the punch that was sure to come.

But it didn't.

"Don't let me catch you again. It's disgusting," Simon turned and stalked off.

"That was anticlim- anticlimadic…," Jayne searched for the right word and gave up. "That was a let down. Thought I was gonna get to hit 'im. Think he's really okay?"

"Worse than I thought," River answered.

-----

"You knew didn't you?" Simon questioned Kaylee as he entered the engine room. "Why am I the last person to know this important bit of ship's gossip?"

Simon was angry, fuming; he still didn't know why he had left the cargo bay. He just knew he was mad. Kaylee hadn't told him, he was sure she knew, Mal hadn't told him, surely he felt the same as Simon towards River, through the years he had seen that Mal cared about her. How could everyone be okay with this?

"About what?" Kaylee hollered from underneath the engine. "Oh, wait, you mean Jayne and-"

"My innocent baby sister," he finished. "Yeah that's the gossip I am referring to. You approve of this?"

Kaylee pulled herself from the engine and stood in front of Simon. She could see he was shaking with anger. She hoped it wasn't all meant for her. Surely some of it could be aimed at Jayne.

"Um, well, I haven't really thought too much on it," Kaylee stuttered. "I mean, we have been a bit tied up recently. I suppose I should have told you."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking." Simon reached for Fuss in the bassinet hanging near Kaylee's own hammock. "I'll see you later."

As he left the room Fuss began to cry. If Kaylee had to guess, she would say that the baby knew that her Daddy was upset.

-----

Simon was able to avoid everyone until dinner time. He thought about not going, but he knew Kaylee would drag him, so he went without coaxing.

Not really hungry, Simon didn't eat as much as push his food around. Did River not love him enough to tell him? Did she even care? She hadn't said a word to him during the confrontation earlier. It was just serving to increase his numbing anger. Or was it hurt? Maybe he was hurt…he didn't even know himself.

"Ain't you gonna say sumpin'?" Jayne interrupted Simon's thoughts. "I'm tired of waiting for the other boot to drop. You gonna hit me or are you plannin' some way to kill me in my sleep?"

"Jayne," River begged. "Please, don't."

"He's just starin' at his food like I stole sumpin' from him," Jayne retorted. The whole table had stopped eating and looked between Jayne and River fighting and Simon still staring at his food. "It'd be pitiful if I didn't know he was so pissed."

"I'm fine," Simon looked up from his food and looked Jayne in the eye. "You two appear to be disagreeing about something, but I am fine."

Jayne thought it was a mite creepy the way he was so calm and collected. Simon's eyes were glaring daggers.

"Simon," River whispered. "Your words lie. What can I do?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," Simon replied. "It's not as if I can do anything, it's not like I can control you, or make your decisions for you. You don't need me, so I'll just mind my own business."

Pushing back from the table he walked out. Kaylee started to go after him, but then she turned to River.

"You have to fix this," Kaylee bit out. "You should've been upfront 'bout all this."

As she continued out of the room, Mal, Inara, and Zoë just stared at the guilty couple.

Mal spoke first. "Kaylee's right, ya'll better fix this problem. I can't have my crew fighting. Don't work. Get's people killed."

"I thought he would just be mad," River said softly through her tears. "I didn't know he would hate me. His hate is so loud."

"Hey, hey, calm down," Jayne soothed, if Mal had any doubts about Jayne treating River well, they were tossed aside with the picture of Jayne coming out of his chair and kneeling by hers. "Nothin's broken, we can mend it, really. He'll snap outta this. You ain't losin' your brother."

Jayne picked her up and they headed towards his bunk.

"It's odd, the way she makes him act," Inara broke the heavy silence left in the dining room. "It's too bad Simon couldn't see that."

"Man's scared, stressed, and he obviously feels like River abandoned him," Zoë interjected. "He'll surely get over this. But I am feeling a bit guilty."

"Yeah, yeah, I shoulda told him," Mal admitted sarcastically. "I got it, you ladies telling me I was wrong not to tell Simon when I first had an inkling. I gotta get me some more men folk on this boat to be on my side."

Inara and Zoë smiled as Mal trudged off to the bridge.

-----

Simon tossed and turned. He couldn't get comfortable. Knowing he should be asleep wasn't helping either. It was new for Fuss to sleep through the night and he should be taking advantage, but every time he closed his eyes he saw it.

_Jayne pushing River against the bulkhead. Moaning, the sounds of Jayne kissing her neck, he could see him kissing her shoulder, hiking her skirt up. River's eyes dark and then she turned, looked right at Simon. _

"_I choose him over you." A cruel sort of laugh escaped her lips. _

Eyes wide open, he turned again. Cold sweat covered his body and he was glad he didn't scream. It would have woken Fuss.

Was that the problem? Did he harbor some sort of Ophelia complex? He felt the bile rise in his throat, no that couldn't be it. He loved Kaylee. No, more likely it was that he didn't feel needed anymore by River.

Giving up his whole life, Simon just assumed he would always be the center of River's universe. Even though his focus had changed, he never thought hers would change.

-----

Jayne sat on his bed, back against the bulkhead, dozing. River stirred and it startled him out of his light sleep. She had gotten herself wrapped up and trapped in the blanket and was struggling to break free.

"I didn't mean it. I didn't pick anyone, Simon! Don't! He's good, don't!" she was shrieking. It was odd how her sleep talking was more easily understood than her thoughts when awake.

Jayne pulled River to him, shushing her and trying his best to console her.

It had been a long time since she woke like this. Years really. When she started to come to his bunk, after Simon and Kaylee were married, she would wake screaming, or mumbling scary things. When it happened he would just pull her closer to him and keep sleeping. The nightmares never bothered him; he didn't care much for her then. Now, it hurt to see her in so much pain.


	2. Chapter 2: Gettin' Shot

**Getting Shot**

"Ya'll up to bein' bad guys today?" Mal asked of River and Jayne at breakfast. "Got a job of the not-so legal variety and I'm thinking it's gonna be fun."

Zoë noticed the fact that Mal was trying to appeal to the couple's sense of thrill, but they both looked like hell. This job would _not_ be fun if these two were off their game.

"Be ready to hit the dirt in two hours. Both o' ya," Mal finished.

River was distraught; Simon didn't come up for breakfast. Kaylee came in for a moment grabbing a few things and left the room. River would have a hard time being _together_ for a job. Since she was so strung out on the emotions from the ship, she felt like she hadn't slept at all. When she did, she was plagued with nightmares, once she even caught bits of Simon's nightmare.

She knew Jayne couldn't be much better off, he had slept holding her and River could feel his concern. It was a new emotion to him and he had a hard time controlling it, making it easier for River to read.

"Alright, little witch, let's go get ready," Jayne nudged her, rubbing his eyes. "Gotta clean some of those guns 'fore we go planet side."

-----

"Right, so we're just meetin' up with the disreputable folk, gettin' the details, then headin' out to the coordinates for the crime portion," Mal explained. "Zoë and I gonna do the chatting, Jayne, you set up by the door, River, you stay by the bar. Both o' you do your thing with the head counts an' feelings and all that."

"Oughta go smooth," Jayne murmured. "Ya know, til' it don't."

They all followed Mal into the bar. Jayne stopped at the door grabbing a close table. Mal and Zoë continued on into the depths of the bar and settled at a booth. Jayne made a mental note of where they rested, and then turned back to the bar to see River. She was tired and Jayne felt he needed to be on his toes. Just in case. He didn't know how those hun dans had trained her to do their killin' but he wasn't sure if she worked well tired like she was. Needin' to be at the top of his game, Jayne declined the offer of drink from the bar maid.

An hour passed before Jayne noticed Mal and Zoë heading toward him.

"We're good to go, feel free to have a drink," Mal offered on his way out the door. "But you and River be back at the boat in an hour."

As Mal and Zoë started to head out a man turned and punched Jayne in the gut where he stood. Zoë pulled out her gun but was disarmed by another man. Mal went to reach for his firearm, but the man who had punched Jayne had two guns pulled, one on Jayne, the other on Mal.

"What seems to be the problem folks?" Mal asked. "We just came for a drink, didn't plan on stayin' for a fight."

"Don't mind though, if'n it was a fair fist fight," Jayne interjected. "Like to take some of my problems out on your face."

"Jayne," Zoë prodded. "Don't think these men are lookin' to let you hit them."

"They ain't gonna, but River will convince them to let me."

"We're ta hold you till our boss gets here," The man holding Zoë replied. "She'll be along in a bit. Sides we ain't got a river round here, you feng le."

"Yu ben de called you crazy!" Mal laughed. "River, you hear that?"

"Jayne's not crazy," River stated as she cocked a gun behind the man holding Jayne and Mal at gun point. "That's my job."

At River's appearance, Zoë elbowed the man holding her and grabbed her gun back from him. Jayne took his gun back from the man River held at gun point.

"Wo de ma! Ain't nothin' prettier than you holdin' a gun," Jayne told River. "I'll give ya first pick, but I'm leanin' toward punching this one. He's got no style."

"Ya'll just wait a minute," Mal said. "Who's your boss, and when's he comin'?"

"On the way," River spoke. "Better go. Lookin' for something."

The words came out of her mouth and all hell broke loose. Two men jumped from the bar and disarmed the four of them simultaneously. Tackling them to the ground, other patrons began brawling and a chair had been thrown at Mal as he started to get up. River wiggled under the grasp of the man that was holding her and started to head out the door.

"Must go now," River urgently yelled. "Coming for us."

The others broke free of the tussle and headed towards River at the door. Jayne walked out ahead of her and ran smack into a woman. Pushing her out of the way he grabbed River's hand and started to run. They weren't but ten feet from the door when River heard the gun cock and then the shot came. She stopped and turned, watching Mal and Zoë run past her and then halt in confusion.

"River, let's get!" Jayne hollered. "What the…?"

Jayne saw the gun and then saw the bullet pierce River.

River didn't fall. She just ran for the woman with the gun. Jayne couldn't catch her, but then he didn't want to. River had just punched the woman in the face.

"You shot me!" River screamed; then she fainted.

Jayne caught her as Mal pulled his gun on the woman.

"Sir, I'm thinkin' now would be the time to fall back," Zoë noted. "The woman's disarmed now, but the fight seems to be comin' this way."

Minutes later Zoë was pulling the mule out of town and heading quickly for Serenity.

"Kaylee," Mal yelled into the comm. "Get the ship ready to burn, and tell Simon to meet us in the bay."

Jumping from the mule with River secure in his arms, Jayne ran for the infirmary. Meeting Simon halfway he started to talk very fast.

"She stopped, just stopped and let the woman shoot her. I been holdin' my hand over the hole, but she ain't awake. Ya gotta fix it Doc, it ain't bad right? Tell me it ain't bad."

Simon would have noticed how Jayne was falling apart, if he himself hadn't been so horrified for River.

"Put her on the table, quickly!" Simon ordered. "How long has she been unconscious?"

"After she decked the girl for shootin' her, she started to wobble," Jayne explained. "Caught her 'fore she hit the ground, but she's been out 'bout five, six minutes."

"She punched the woman who shot her?" Simon asked astonished. "Did she use her right hand?"

"Yeah," Jayne questioned. "Ya reckon that's why she passed out?"

"Probably," Simon replied as he gathered syringes and other medical supplies. "Jayne, go help the captain take off, I don't need you here."

"I ain't leavin' her Doc," Jayne growled. "Do your stuff, I can help if'n ya need it, but I ain't goin' nowhere."

It shocked Simon to see the man turn from scared to the fierce protective bear. Jayne stood up straight, with the intent of intimidating. His form filled the whole room and Simon couldn't help but hold his breath.

"Fine, but, stay out of my way," Simon ordered. "And, wash your hands."

As Simon focused on removing the bullet from River's shoulder, Jayne washed his hands then took his place on the opposite side of River holding her hand. He was scared, and anxious, but he knew Simon wouldn't let her die. Jayne had seen worse bullet holes in his self. Still, seeing River laying there, his stomach lurched.

-----

Zoë held Fuss as she sat in Wash's old chair. Mal sat opposite her pulling the ship out of atmo.

"Isn't much of an injury, sir," Zoë spoke. "Simon will get her fixed up like new."

"Not worryin' 'bout that," Mal said. "It's the way Jayne was all over her. Scared merc don't work well."

"Sir, you been doin' well with the changes, really," she acknowledged. "I know change ain't your strong suit, but it'll work itself out."

"Why do I feel like I ain't in control of this boat anymore?" Mal asked. "Captain's orders should be law."

"You are the captain, but you are also the head of this family," Zoë replied, bouncing a cranky Fuss on her knee. "The family part tends to win out these days."

"River's sleepin'," Kaylee said as she popped onto the bridge. "Thanks Zoë, Imma go feed Fuss."

As Zoë handed over the baby, she smiled. "Nice to have the best doc in the 'verse all to ourselves."

-----

River could feel the anxiety in the room. She was in the infirmary, she could tell because Simon's feelings floated here, even though he was outside the room. Jayne was sleeping next to her; he had curled himself around her on the exam table. He was too big to fit, River could feel him using all his muscles to stay huddled next to her, but she was comforted by his presence. His thoughts were jumbled, busy, and loud.

Jayne's thoughts were never difficult to decipher if she tried. River never tried. She didn't want to. He was her protector and he didn't want her 'pokin' around in his mind. Right now, though Jayne was practically screaming into her mind, he had been doing that since the fight with Simon. River felt loved; he was concerned, scared and impatient. Feeling the impatience, she started to wiggle and wake.

It was then that the events of the day came back to her. She was in Simon's space because a woman had shot her. A shiver of fear hit her. Something was wrong.

"Simon!" River screeched. "Where's the bullet?"

"Mei mei, I got it out," Simon said as he rushed into the room to calm her. "You're fine. But you need to rest."

River had to make Simon understand. She pushed Jayne off the table making him yelp in pain as he hit the floor. River glanced about the infirmary frantically.

"Now, whatcha do that for, River?" Jayne asked as he stood up. "I think ya bruised my tail bone."

"Bullet track!" River hissed. "Where's the bullet?"

"It's right here," Simon said, holding it out to her. "You're lucky you didn't hurt yourself worse punching that woman after she shot you."

"Break it!" River said.

"How we gonna break a bullet, little witch?" Jayne questioned. He was glad to see her awake, but not thrilled to see her so scatterbrained.

"Space it, melt it," River was shaking. "Open it up to see it's secrets, then break it! Track!"

"What does 'track' have to do with anything?" Simon interrupted River's rant.

"Jayne track, bullet track!" River screamed, she was desperate to get her point across, but her brain was jumbled. "Break bullet!"

"Wait," Jayne stepped in. "You mean the bullet has a tracker in it?"

"Yes!" River jumped up and hugged him, then turned to the bullet still in Simon's hand. "Now, break!"

"A bullet is tracking us?" Simon asked. "A bullet can do that?"

"It's an old trick," Jayne answered, still holding River in his arms. "Lots of folks don't use it though, gotta be a good shot, otherwise you kill the person, ain't no need to track 'em then."

Simon paled. "Someone's trying to get River again?"

"Not River, Jayne," River replied. "Now, break it!"


	3. Chapter 3: Workin' Out What We Know

**If I owned this, do you think I would be writing fan fic? No, I wouldn't, I'd be begging Universal to make another Serenity movie…**

**Props to the lady with the grasp of grammar: Beta Chazzer!**

**Workin' Out What We Know**

"How do we get rid of the bullet?" Simon asked Jayne. "Should we just toss it out the air lock?"

"Seems like the best idea to me," Jayne replied, then turned to the girl in his arms. "I need to put you down, little witch, so your brother can check ya out."

"Bullet first!" River screeched, holding tighter to Jayne.

"Fine," Jayne said. "But, I can't do it holdin' ya. You let Simon check out your shoulder while I take out the trash."

Simon glanced at Jayne and noticed the care he used in putting River back on the table. His heart softened a bit. If Jayne always took care of his sister like this, maybe he wasn't so bad. Simon had watched Jayne stay by her side; the gruff bear was genuinely worried about River's health.

Of course, Simon was still mad at River, even if she had been shot. He was still offended that she didn't feel the need to tell him about this development in her life. But, maybe it was just something he needed to get over.

"Mal," Jayne spoke over the comm. "Can you meet me in the cargo bay?"

"I'll be back, River," Jayne said as he turned to her. "You just rest, don't need to be wrigglin' around."

After Jayne had left, River turned to Simon.

"He's not so bad," River told Simon, smiling. "You like him a little."

In a reversal of roles, Simon rolled his eyes.

"That was a bomb to drop on me," Simon said. "You knew I would be upset."

"Didn't know you would be so mad at me," River stated, her smile faltering. "Figured you'd be mad at him."

"I never pictured Jayne as honest or forthcoming," Simon explained. "But I expected more from you. Surely you would tell me what was happening in your life, even if I was busy with Kaylee and the baby."

"Mistake in the calculation," River whispered. "Didn't know you would be so angry. Can't stop being brother. River needs Simon to keep her tethered to sanity."

"Nothing will stop me from being your brother," Simon stated firmly. "Doesn't mean I'm okay with it or you. I can't make your choices, but I can tell you I think that is a stupid one. Jayne tried to sell us out, remember?"

"Still regrets it," River replied.

-----

"River okay?" Mal asked as he walked down the stairs into the cargo bay.

"She's fine," Jayne answered. "A little too fine, she says this bullet here has a tracker in it, so we need to get rid of it."

"Somebody trackin' River?" Mal questioned. "Gorramit, thought we was done with this gou pi!"

"River seems to think somebody's trackin' me." Jayne mentioned. "I wish I didn't believe her, but I 'spose she could be right. Buddha knows I made enough people mad."

"Just what we need," Mal said. "Trouble. You space the bullet, Imma go tweak the course a bit, maybe we can shake 'em a bit till we get the job done."

Mal headed up to the bridge, then turned. "You better start makin' a list of the people who could be behind this, people who would be smart enough to shoot your girlfriend with a tracker bullet."

-----

"Getting shot is not the optimal outcome," River stated. "Painful and inefficient."

"Next time, don't wait for the bullet to hit ya," Jayne said through his laughter. "Or punch the lady after."

They were sitting in the infirmary; Simon was giving River antibiotics intravenously for infection.

"I would prefer if I never had to patch another bullet hole for you," Simon interjected. "Do you have any idea who shot her, or if that was the person after you, Jayne?"

"Guess it coulda been," Jayne answered. "But, I didn't recognize her."

"Maybe it's one of your whore's scorned," Zoë suggested as she walked in.

"Hey, now!" Jayne snorted. "Just ask River here, ain't nobody I sexed got any complaints."

"I assure you," Simon blanched. "No one here wanted to know that."

"My guess is somebody I double crossed along the way," Jayne continued. "Not the group that I was with before Serenity, but before that."

"I had no idea you had such a sordid past," Simon replied, disdainfully. "Who knew you were so complicated."

"Don't mock, Simon," River scolded. "We need to get to the bottom of this. Must keep Jayne safe."

"You don't need to keep Jayne safe," Jayne stated. "I can keep myself safe. Ya know, with all my guns and such. Don't you worry on it, you just get your self all better."

"Sweet thought," Mal interrupted. "But, we'll need River. You get anything off the lady that shot ya?" he asked River.

Mal had changed the route they were taking to a more round-about one. Now he was ready to figure this mess out.

"She was angry, angrier than Simon is. She didn't like me, and she _really_ didn't like Jayne." River explained. "She's the one in charge. She's the one that wants Jayne."

"Next time we meet up with her, you're gonna have to be there," Mal said. "Gotta know what she wants."

"No!" Simon and Jayne yelled at the same time.

"No, ruttin' way Mal," Jayne hollered. "Hundan woman shot River, she ain't gettin' near her again."

"I don't often agree with the ape," Simon replied. "But he's right. I don't want River near the woman."

"River is our best bet to find out what this lady wants," Mal retorted trying to regain control.

"We could just ask her, sir," Zoë suggested. "Might think we would sell him out."

"Oh, sure," Jayne said. "What if she wants me dead? Not much we can do for the lady then, 'cept kill her 'fore she kills me."

"Let's make it to Whitefall, do the job," Mal said. "See what's up then."

"We robbin' Patience again?" Jayne asked.

"Just a little," Mal answered. "Nothin' too hard, just lifting some special seed she got. Stuff's supposed to grow anywhere, even some of the rocky rim. Should be halfway to Hera 'fore she even knows it's gone."

"Look, we'll chat 'bout all that tomorrow." Mal finished. "Simon, I heard Fuss makin' a racket in the engine room with Kaylee, you might wanna see to that."

Mal and Zoë left and Simon started to go.

"You don't have to stay here tonight," he told River. "Let's get you set up to sleep in your own bed."

As he started to remove the IV, Jayne snickered.

"She ain't slept in her own bed in a long while, Doc," Jayne said.

Simon finished putting a new dressing on River's shoulder. He then turned to Jayne and punched him.

"I told you I didn't want to hear about it," Simon spat, shaking out his fist. "I'm going to bed."

"You deserved it," River told Jayne. "Trying to make him mad."

"Maybe a little," Jayne answered. "Man's got a mean punch, though. Musta learned from watchin' me."


	4. Chapter 4: The Job

a/n: beta'd by the best, Chazzer! I don't own it, wish I did, but ya know, if wishes were horses then I'd be eating steak.

**The Job**

"You okay with piloting us outta here if necessary, Inara?" Mal asked. "Hopefully you won't have to, but ya know how the crime can go south occasionally."

"It's not like I have anywhere else to be," Inara bit out. "One of these days we need to visit a place where I can work, if you want my rent paid."

"We will," Mal replied. "But with this Jayne thing, we gotta be careful. Don't need more of my crew getting themselves dead."

"Is Simon still upset?" Inara inquired. "About the two of them?"

"Seems so. I don't blame the man," he finished. "I wouldn't want my mei mei shackin' up with Jayne, but then again, River does make him act a mite peculiar."

"Jayne loves her," Inara whispered. "Must be nice."

"You got hundans lovin' ya every time you work," Mal snarked. "Don't think one man would do it for you."

His words stung, but she brushed off the feeling.

"Do I get a cut of the money if I have to get the ship out of atmo?" Inara asked, but Mal was already gone.

-----

Jayne was apprehensive about this job. River was able rotate her shoulder well, but that didn't mean he wanted her holding a gun. Mal had insisted, ordered even, but Jayne had agreed for once with Simon that she shouldn't go. Of course, Mal won out. Well, he thought he had. Really Jayne and Simon stopped arguing because River told them she would go.

That made Simon even angrier. Jayne could tell that something with the siblings wasn't right. River would still wake with nightmares of Simon. She had told Jayne that they were sometimes her own, sometimes Simon's. Jayne had thought that since he had let Simon hit him, things would be better, but they weren't and Jayne didn't know how to fix it.

River had suggested that Jayne stop antagonizing Simon. Jayne pretended he didn't know what antagonize meant. Then after a few nights of her nightmares, Jayne decided to let up on Simon.

-----

The captain and River wound through the box cars quietly, checking for guards at every turn. Both had guns out and were reading the numbers looking for the correct one.

"153, 154, ah, here it is, 155," Mal whispered. "Looks like two guards, nothin' we can't handle. You go left, I got right." He gestured to River.

Swiftly they had knocked the guards out, Mal with the butt of his gun, River with a kick to the head. As Mal pulled the key card off the first guards belt, River dragged the men to the side of the box car.

"River?" Mal asked. "You got your hand on the comm.?"

She nodded and he opened the door with the key card. As the door opened, Mal turned to River and shook his head. The car was empty, except for one woman.

She was dressed exceptionally well, in a long dress in the finest blue silk, reminding Mal of something Inara would wear. Blonde hair hung around her shoulders and her face had lots of makeup, but tastefully done. The woman had a gun pointed at Mal's chest.

"Trap," Mal stated. "Ma'am, you don't look like ten cases of shen ji zhong zhi seed."

"No, I am not," the woman stated plainly. "I am however, irritated, and I broke a nail getting in here."

"Well," Mal said, "pardon me for not caring, but is there something I can do for you?"

"Where is Jayne?" she asked.

"Don't know a Jayne," Mal lied. "Got a few women folk on my boat, but not a one of them is named Jayne."

"I don't have time for this," the woman said, clearly perturbed. "You can go back to your ship and tell Jayne that I need him to meet me back at Hera in two days time."

"We can do that," Mal answered. "But what's a lady like you want Jayne for? I mean, if I knew a Jayne," the captain added.

"I said _you _could go back," the woman corrected. "The girl is coming with me, as collateral."

Mal flinched, but River didn't move. She wasn't scared of this woman, but the captain was afraid he wouldn't get River back. That would make Simon and Jayne upset.

"Not a great idea, ma'am," he replied. "She's a mite unpredictable. She's liable to hurt ya. Especially if'n you're the one gonna take her. I've seen her beat up men twice your size and leave 'em for dead. Or have you forgotten the punch you got when ya shot her?"

As Mal was speaking two men walked up behind he and River, guns cocked behind their heads. The woman walked out of the box car, putting a hand out to shield her eyes.

"When I get Jayne," she explained. "I'll kill him, and then I can check it off my to-do list and move on to more interesting things. So, if you would please go back to your ship and give him the message, these large men with big guns will take his girlfriend to my ship and we will meet him in two days, on the south side of Hera, in the far desert."

Mal looked to River who had adopted the attitude of the woman they were speaking with. She stood looking bored and irritated. He wished he knew how to flip the switch in her brain that made her go a bit loony with the killin'.

Then Mal heard two gun shots. He winced hoping it wasn't him being shot. When he realized he wasn't dead, he relaxed.

"Took ya long enough," Mal grunted as he turned to see Jayne and Zoë on the mule. Jayne was standing, holding a gun he called Melanie. "Thought you might be too late, this lady here is intent on killin' you and thought takin' River would be her best bet."

"Ain't nobody takin' River or killin' me," Jayne hollered, while looking the woman up and down. "You gotta name?"

"Ella Rook," she stated calmly.

"Why you wanna kill me?" Jayne asked.

"Captain," Zoë interrupted. "She's got a fancy ship in dock, just around the corner, I suggest we take her, or kill her, but either way, we should be making the getaway about now."

"Shoot her," Mal told Jayne, as he climbed into the mule. "Let's get off this rock."

Jayne fired the shot into her stomach and reached for River, pulling her up into the mule.

As Ella Rook fell to the ground Zoë steered the mule cautiously out of the yard of box cars.

"So," Jayne yelled from the back of the mule. "That was your great plan? Gorram woman coulda' taken River!"

"The comm let ya know it was a trap," Mal answered loudly. "Ya'll took your time getting' to us, but it worked."

Jayne grunted something Mal couldn't hear and pulled River closer to him.

"Ya hurt little witch?" Jayne asked River. "We need to get your brother to look at ya?"

"Fine," she said as she snuggled into him. "Wasn't scared of her, but she was scared of me."

shen ji: miracle

zhong zhi: grow

I know they don't actually mean it together, it probably means booger put together, but since I don't actually speak Chinese, there it is.


	5. Chapter 5: More of What We Know

**a/n:** Veronica Mars' pony to anyone who can pick out the Eddie Izzard reference or the cartoon reference, or the three amigos line. Beta'd by Chazzer 'cause she rocks. None of this belongs to me, thanks for reminding me how poor I am.

**More of What We know**

As they slid into the cargo bay, Simon came down to meet them.

"Everybody okay?" he asked.

"No injuries," Zoë replied as she hopped off the mule. "That's gotta be a first."

River headed toward the bridge, Jayne followed her.

"No need to head up there," Mal told them. "Inara's got it, I need ya'll in the dining room. We need to talk about this."

"Ah, Mal," Jayne whined. "I shot her, why we gotta talk?"

"Ya shot her, but she coulda been wearing armor or some such," Mal retorted. "Don't want to be caught with our pants down. She might still be after us."

Mal felt the pull of the ship taking off as he headed toward the dining room. He stopped by the comm unit.

"Everybody in the dining room," his voice boomed through the ship. "Gonna have us a little family meetin'."

Kaylee walked into the dining area carrying Fuss in a sling. Simon pulled a chair at the table out for her and then sat down himself. Jayne and River sat opposite them and Zoë and Mal stood at the head of the table. Inara walked in as soon as she had engaged the auto pilot and sat down next to River.

"Right," Mal started. "So, this woman's after Jayne and-"

"I shot her in the gut, Mal," Jayne interjected. "Don't think she's after me no more."

"Being as that I am in charge," Mal replied coolly. "I will run this meetin' and I got a feelin' we ain't seen the last of this Ella Rook."

"Ella Rook?" Inara asked. "As in the infamous Ellanora Rook?"

"That doesn't sound good," Kaylee said.

"Infamous," Jayne said, "Like more than famous?"

"No," Mal answered. "Like the bad kinda famous. Who is she 'Nara?"

"Ellanora Rook was a companion, a terrible one," Inara explained. "She comes from one of the wealthiest families in the Core. Her mother paid off a house priestess to get her into a training house at the age of sixteen. Ellanora was the oldest girl there, she wouldn't listen to any of the teachers and she had no skills."

"Get to the part where she is infamous," Jayne urged.

"Well, she did have one skill," Inara continued. "She could read body language better than anyone. It's probably how she knew that taking River hostage would get Jayne to come. Anyway, she was banned before she ever started. The guild found out about her mother's bribing and she was condemned. It was a huge scandal, all over the cortex. No one had ever gotten that far on a pay off."

"See Jayne," Mal scoffed. "A rich girl's bound to have all the luxuries for revenge, ya know, like body armor."

"Shoulda shot her in the head," Jayne grunted.

"River?" Mal questioned. "Ya get anything from pokin' in her head?"

"Jayne killed someone," River stated.

"Yeah," Jayne answered. "Like that's news."

River punched his arm and continued, "Someone close to her. Didn't know the man, but she found out, now's she angry. Feels like you took something from her."

Fuss started to cry so Kaylee stood and bounced a bit in place to calm her.

"So, what's the plan then?" Kaylee asked. "We didn't get any cargo, Jayne didn't kill the lady, and we are low on fuel."

"We head towards Paquin, need a job," Mal said. "Hopefully we can avoid this Rook lady for a bit while we do a little research. Inara, can you contact some folks and check into this lady's background? See if she's got any recently deceased relatives?"

"Yes," Inara nodded. "River should change course, I set the ship for Hera."

The crew dispersed, but Simon followed River towards the bridge.

"See what kind of trouble Jayne can get into?" Simon prodded. "You still think he's a good idea?"

"Not now, Simon," River answered. "Things to do. Go help Kaylee with Fuss."

-----

"River is incorrigible," Simon told Kaylee as he took Fuss from her. "How can she not see that Jayne is dangerous?"

"Last time I checked," Kaylee started, "River wasn't exactly helpless. She can kill a room full of Reavers; she can take care of herself."

Simon walked around the common area burping Fuss.

"Maybe you need to get over it," Kaylee continued. "She's an adult, a lot less crazy, and she's been through more than you and I have. Jayne ain't so bad. She could do worse."

"Worse?" Simon asked. "How could it get worse than Jayne?"

"Well," Kaylee said. "Jayne cares about her. I know you don't want to see it, but he does. Some girls get caught up with men who treat 'em like dirt. Got a cousin who married a scrawny little man, she went to visit her mama with bruises all over her face. Jayne wouldn't do that to River. He don't treat women like that. He's a good man," Simon glared at her. "Okay, he's not an awful man and I've seen him treat River like a princess."

"Maybe this woman will kill him," Simon hoped aloud. "Then River and I could go back to normal."

"You want her to go back to bein' crazy?" Kaylee chastised. "Cause that's the time you're thinkin' of. 'Sides, you know if anything happens to him she'll be heartbroken. You want that?"

"No," Simon answered. He had stopped pacing with Fuss and sat down. "I just worry about her."

Kaylee smiled, she scooted closer to Simon and began stroking the baby's face. Fuss was almost asleep.

"Of course you do," Kaylee said. "It's your job as her brother. You've been takin' care of her so long, it's just second nature, but she's a grown woman. Time to let go. Now, let's get that baby in bed. I myself would love to get some of that sexin', it's been a while ya know?"

Simon laughed and headed toward the nursery.

"You and your one track mind," Simon said, shaking his head. "I suppose if you feel up to it, I should oblige."

-----

River woke with a start. Jayne reached for her.

"Nightmare?" Jayne asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"No," River shook her head and laid back down, breathing like she was meditating. "Kaylee and Simon are having sex."

"Ya know that?" he asked, confused. "Awkward, isn't it?"

"Yes," she answered. "Can block it out, it's just been a while."

"What, since they had sex?"

"First time since Fuss was born," River said. "Gotta concentrate."

"What?" Jayne questioned. "Kid's three months old. They ain't done it for three months?"

"Three and a half." River corrected. Jayne had his mouth open in shock. "Woman has to heal." River explained.

"Yeah, but three months," Jayne replied. "That's a long time, especially for Kaylee."

River shushed him and started to breathe deeply. Jayne rolled on his side and propped his head up with his hand.

"Whatcha doin'?" Jayne asked.

"Compartmentalizing," River supplied.

"That what made ya less crazy?" Jayne asked quietly. "Ya learnin' to work your brain a bit better, to control it."

"Yes."

He watched her breathing. Then curiosity got the better of him.

"Were you psychic before they chopped your brain to bits?" Jayne asked. The question had plagued him a long time, he just couldn't find a good time to ask.

River nodded.

"But you weren't crazy?"

"No," River answered.

"How'd you control it then?" he asked.

"Had all the puzzle pieces," River explained. "All the tools to build the walls, series of small walls in my head, could be normal, a real girl, not a marionette."

Jayne watched her breathe in and out, working to put up those walls so she wasn't bothered by her brother and Kaylee.

River turned and looked at him with a sad face.

"Wish you knew the girl before she was broken," River said. It wasn't a question.

"Nah," Jayne finished. "I like ya crazy."

"Liar," River chided.

"Don't go pokin'," Jayne answered stiffly.

"Didn't have to," River whispered. "Just told me."

Jayne held her gaze for a moment before she rolled over. He felt guilty for hurting her feelings. He moved closer to her and kissed her shoulder, then tried to go back to sleep.

-----

"Ellanora Rook is adopted," Inara explained to the crew who had gathered in the common area. "She spent the last two years searching for her biological parents. Her intent was to find them and extract money from them. Apparently the Rook fortune is in jeopardy of being seized due to tax evasion."

"What's any of this gou pi got to do with trouble-in-a-skirt wantin' to kill me?" Jayne asked. "I ain't her real daddy."

"You hope," Mal slid in.

"Can I finish?" Inara said, glaring at Jayne and Mal.

"Where'd ya get this?" Jayne questioned. "Surely lady don't air her laundry on the cortex for all to see."

"I tracked down a friend of hers from Ariel," Inara answered.

Jayne shivered at the mention of Ariel, glancing at Simon, then River.Then he turned back to Inara. He didn't like to think about Ariel at all. Guilt still filled his gut when he heard the name.

"Ellanora has been using cashed out funds to find her mother and father," Inara continued. "The problem is, they are both dead. Her mother was a slave girl on one of the outer worlds, died of dysentery shortly after Ellanora was born. Her father was a man some of you have met before."

"And whoever this hundan is," Jayne interrupted. "I killed him, so she hates me, wants me dead, even though the sphincter's probably broke as us. That about right?"

"Yes," Inara finished. "That's right. Remember Canton?"

"Oh good lord!" Kaylee cursed. The rest of the room hemmed and hawed.

"Stitch Hessian is Ellanora Rook's biological father," Inara stated. "That's why she's after Jayne."

"Experiment 626," River spoke dreamily.

"Huh?" Mal said.

River just shook her head, like she wasn't going to answer.

"Damn town's gonna be the death of me," Jayne lamented. "One way or another. Well, it's not like I can talk her outta killin' me, so what do we do?"

"Could just keep running," Zoë offered.

"She did seem a bit bored with the idea of revenge," Mal mentioned. "Sumpin' 'bout 'better things to do'."

"I hate lookin' over my shoulder," Jayne replied.

"Um, isn't that your job?" Simon asked. "Doesn't it mention that in the mercenary handbook or something?"

Jayne stared at Simon a moment before he remembered he wasn't supposed to antagonize him anymore.

"Don't 'spose anyone knows how to talk a girl outta killin'?" Jayne inquired. "Maybe she got a safe word like my little witch here?"

Now River glared at Jayne. He looked sheepish and turned back to Mal.

"Guess I'll just shoot her in the head next time," he finished.

Mal shared a look with Zoë and then turned back to the room.

"Let's get to Paquin," he laid out. "We'll just stay one step ahead of her until she get's bored and goes back to mommy on Ariel."


	6. Chapter 6: Defending The Man

**a/n: okay, last one! Hope you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it, and reading your comments, which are my crack, please, be my pusher. I of course, own nothing of this verse, but I am thinking about making my own firefly t-shirt.**

**Beta'd by Chazzer**

**Defending the Man**

River sat in the co-pilot's chair. The other chair had been Wash's. River never sat there. The Captain would, Zoë would occasionally, but River didn't want to replace Wash, she knew she couldn't, so she never sat there.

She had adjusted some course headings and was now flying manually. The autopilot would get the ship close to Paquin, but River wanted to fly. It was relaxing for her, and she needed to relax.

It was hard for her to clear her head; her own thoughts, jumbled with the too loud thoughts of some of the others on board used to make River physically ill. But in recent years she had become better at blocking out others thoughts. Now it was just her own floating around her head, bashing into each other, fighting for the front of her mind.

Simon was still upset. After the talk they had when River was shot, she felt a little better about the situation, but not much. Jayne had someone trying to kill him and twice in two days he had hurt her feelings.

Concentrating on the black in front of her, River tried to focus her thoughts on Simon. If she could get Simon to see the tender side of Jayne, maybe he wouldn't be so mad. But then again, he had already said that he was more upset with her for not telling him about Jayne. River apologized for it, but Simon was still mad. Of course, Jayne wasn't helping matters. River knew he loved her, even if he hadn't said it aloud, but she was beginning to wonder if he didn't want out. She was still crazy after all.

Through her focus, River felt warm and fuzzy. Kaylee must be coming.

"Hey sweetie," Kaylee said. "Stressed?"

River looked at her confused.

"Ya ain't the only one can read minds," Kaylee stated. "Okay, so ya are, but you're flying the ship when it could be on auto. Means you're stressed."

"Boys are boobs," River replied.

"Yea," Kaylee said. "Look at me, married to the biggest boob of all. He's like the King of the Boobs," she laughed. "I think I'mma start callin' him that."

"He's still mad," River told her. "Jayne's confused."

"Simon will get over it," Kaylee comforted. "An' ain't Jayne in a constant state of confusion? I mean, you're the mind reader, but really."

"He doubts his choice," River whispered. "Maybe a girl who isn't broken would be better?"

"River," Kaylee admonished. "You ain't broken, not anymore. You're a grown woman and you're more whole than the Cap't. Now, there's a man who's broken," Kaylee giggled and continued. "Been in love with 'Nara since she stepped on this boat, and look at 'im: four years they been dancin' their dance and not even a healthy bit of sexin' for them. Well, together, I mean."

"You're attempting to distract me from my own problems," River said.

"Is it workin'?"

"Yes," River answered.

"Well," Kaylee added. "Jayne will sort himself out. You'll see, and Simon, well, he sees you as two people. One is the fourteen year old he saw off to that ruttin' academy and the other is the crazy girl in the box. It's my fault, I 'spose. I kept him so busy since Miranda he ain't seen you grow up. But, even if he didn't notice, you did grow up. He'll figure it out and you two will be right as rain in no time."

Kaylee kissed the top of River's head and smiled.

"Gorramit! I feel like a cow," Kaylee said as she gently touched her breast. "Time to go feed the calf."

Lights started to flash on the display and an alarm sounded. Kaylee stopped on her way out the door and turned to River.

"Cap't, she hasn't gotten bored yet," River spoke into the comm.

The ship swerved and Jayne held onto the frame of the entryway to the bridge.

"You let her shoot you again?" Jayne asked River.

"Swerved to avoid the shot," she calmly replied. "Superpowers come in handy when piloting."

Mal hurried in behind Jayne.

"Can you outrun her?" Mal asked River. "Don't need any holes in my boat, ain't got the coin to be fixin' holes."

"I am already out of firing distance," River stated. "Need to burn, Kaylee!" she shouted into the comm.

"Already on it, go!" Kaylee answered from the engine room.

"Albatross," Mal said. "Why aren't we going?"

"Pulling us in, too late," River told him.

"How's that work?" Jayne asked, looking between Mal and River. "I thought we was outta firin' range."

"New technology," Mal answered. "Jayne, I want you in one of River's hidin' places in the dining room."

"If she's boardin'," Jayne grunted at Mal. "I ain't hidin'! I'm not a sum'bitch coward."

"You ain't hidin'," Mal explained. "You're the backup plan. You stay hid, then if'n we can't get control of the situation you feel free to come in guns blazin', take this comm. When you hear me call for ya, you c'mon in."

"I'm takin' River," Jayne rebutted. "Rook woman ain't gettin' another shot at my girl."

"No, you ain't," Mal ordered. "Need her with me in the cargo bay. Go, 'fore I decide to let Rook kill ya."

Jayne grumbled, but River looked at him and urged, "Go, we'll call for you, when we need you."

"I need everybody at the front door," Mal boomed over the comm. "'Cept Fuss, need to hide her."

As River and Mal entered the bay, Mal glanced at Simon and Kaylee.

"Baby hid?" he asked.

"She's asleep," Kaylee answered. "So, we hid her in one of the compartments in our room, shouldn't make a peep, assuming it doesn't get too violent out here."

Kaylee's voice was shaking. Simon pulled her close to him.

"Nobody's gonna be hurt," Mal assured Kaylee. "Just gonna have a little chat with this lady, then get her off the boat."

Zoë looked at him, stone faced.

"How, exactly," Zoë questioned, "we gonna get her off this boat?"

"Formulatin' that in my head right now," Mal whispered to her only. "Got Jayne hid as a

backup plan though."

"Great," Zoë panned.

The bay doors opened and three men walked onto the ship, all pointing guns. Behind them Ellanora Rook entered slowly, she was not holding a gun. She glanced about the cargo bay with feigned interest and then turned up her nose.

"What a piece of go se," Ellanora noted. "You live here?"

Simon held Kaylee back, and Mal stared the woman down.

"Something we can help ya with?" Mal asked.

"Just give me Jayne and I'll leave you be," she replied. "Of course, I don't see him here, so I guess this won't be done the easy way."

Ellanora nodded to her men and they walked toward River. The men tried to grab her, but instead with one kick River managed to disarm all three and one more roundhouse knocked them on the ground. She then turned to Ellanora.

"I think you should be goin', ma'am." Mal suggested.

"Wait," River interjected. She walked over Ellanora and stood very close to her. Ellanora squirmed a bit and took a step back.

"You won't follow us," River told her. "You'll go home, and move on with your life."

"Why would I listen to you?"

"Because you're scared of me," River supplied. "And you aren't stupid. You know the man your biological father was, you know he isn't worth it."

"Why would you defend a man like Jayne Cobb?" she asked. "Why would you be with him, he's old, and ugly, and crude."

"No power in the 'verse would stop me from defending him," River stated. "He isn't scared of me and he loves me, treats me well, and doesn't care that I'm crazy. Selfishness begets selfishness, you will never understand."

"You follow us," Jayne spoke from the catwalk, pointing Vera at the woman. "Won't go for the gut, I'll shoot ya right between the eyes."

"No," River told her. "I'll do it. This is your stop, get off."

Ellanora Rook took one look at all the angry faces and turned back to her ship. Mal, Simon and Jayne hauled the bodies of the men behind her. Tossing them into her ship they walked back towards the women and shut the doors behind them.

"Think she'll listen?" Simon asked.

"Scared her," River said.

-----

"I didn't know you felt that way about him," Simon remarked, glancing at River in the pilot's chair. "I'm still not thrilled with the idea, though."

"Not your decision to make," River told him.

"I know," Simon replied. "I'll kill him if he hurts you."

"Oh, Simon," River said. "King of the Boobs."

"Did you make that up?" Simon asked, smiling. "Or did Kaylee?"

"Kaylee," River answered.

-----

Jayne cuddled up to River in his bunk.

"I do love to see you threaten to kill on my account," Jayne whispered into her ear. "Makes me all kinds of excited."

"Never told me," River said solemnly.

"That ya make me excited?" he asked confused. "Pretty sure I have."

"That you love me," she answered.

"Just figured you knew," Jayne explained. "Could feel it or whatever, 'sides, I'm not one

to be sharin' feelin's and all."

"Wanna hear you say it," River told him. "Sounds better out loud."

"C'mon now," Jayne whined.

"Crazy girl needs to hear it, she's starting to doubt."

"Doubt?" Jayne asked appalled. "Why would ya doubt? 'Cause I said some wrong stuff last couple o' days? I still love ya, well, damn, now ya made me say it!"

River laughed and kissed him.

"Sounds better when you say it out loud," she told him.


End file.
